“To attract the partner of your dreams, you have to become the person of your dreams.”
– Mrs. Karen Stanley, Author
How To Attract the Partner of Your Dreams
These are some steps you can take toward getting on the path to meeting the perfect partner, the person of your dreams. To get there, you first need to work on your own self-esteem by embodying the qualities of the person you want to be, and also the person you want to attract.
For me it was a matter of changing my beliefs and working on myself. I doubted myself for so many years. I thought maybe I don’t have the relationship chip or maybe I didn’t deserve finding real love. But that type of thinking was holding me back from finding my soulmate, the partner of my dreams.
Understanding Your Beliefs
For years I was attracting men I didn’t want to attract – because I wasn’t really the person I wanted to be. But also realized that every date is a teacher, and they were all teaching me something. I wasn’t working on myself, because I was too focused on my imperfections, my flaws, my mistakes, my cellulite, my past. I spent way too much time thinking I was damaged goods.
And then I became focused on THEM…the teachers that I was attracting. Why aren’t they ‘this’ and why aren’t they ‘that’ and why aren’t they ‘fill in the blank’ (keyword THEY) placing my focus on the wrong person in the relationship.
But then it hit me that my beliefs were wrong, that EVERYONE deserves to find love, and I finally realized I wasn’t going to attract a badass unless I walked out the door feeling like a bad-ass MYSELF! And that’s when everything changed.
Change Your Focus
After my big revelation I began to focus on the girl in the mirror. Now I was on a mission to do the things that I WANTED TO DO FOR ME, and no one else. First, I made list of everything I needed to do to walk out the door feeling like a boss, and I got to work! I worked on my health, my diet, my house, my yard, and even my teeth! I even got braces when I was 38 years old, and now I love my smile!
In my opinion, one of the things that causes low self-esteem is misdirection of our focus. If we focus on the past, and if we focus on our mistakes and imperfections, we can’t feel good about what we are doing in the present.
Create a Boss List
Another thing that was causing me to have low self-esteem was procrastinating on things I KNEW needed to be crossed off my list, so that I could feel better! And once I started doing them, just one thing at a time, it changed my EMOTIONS and it changed the way I felt about myself. Just accomplish little things, one thing at a time. Like organizing just one closet – It feels so good! It sounds really simple, and it is.
The more items I crossed off my boss list, the better I felt about myself.
You can’t be in a bad mood when you cross “clean the closet” OFF your list. Simply crank your music and get’er DONE! It will feel awesome. Do just one load of laundry. (And get it off the “cheetah laundry couch”, as my couch was named because it constantly had piles of laundry on it that needed to be folded and put away!)
Make a list of things to do, and cross them off one by one. That’s progress! And progress is THE THING that will raise your self esteem. I finally became so tired of being pissed that the carpets in my rental place were gross, that I had them cleaned. And then I bought new rugs to cover them up! As I crossed-off more and more and more things that were on my boss list, the list got shorter and shorter and felt better and better. This process helped me to build and create my own self worth just a little bit at a time.
Become the Person You Want to Attract
To attract the partner of your dreams you have to become the person you want THEM to be. Doing each thing on your boss list will bring you one step closer to becoming a magnet for that special person. And it will make you feel like a badass when you walk out the door.
If you don’t feel like a badass when you walk out the door, how can you change that? What are some things that you can do or that you could change to make you feel awesome? I wrote them all down. And I just did one thing a day. I worked on that list just a little bit at a time.
Nothing has to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. I wasn’t perfect after working on my list, I just chipped away at it until I was making PROGRESS. Marginal progress is the key THING. That’s the thing that made me feel better about myself. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you will attract that same VIBE. You will become a magnet for others who have high self-esteem. You will attract a badass, just like I did!
Changing my beliefs and working on myself was the part of the strategy I used to find my soulmate. It worked for me and it can work for you!
Read the story of my last first date and learn more about how you can get on the path to finding your soulmate.
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