Create a Sanctuary Space in Your Home
Creating a sanctuary for myself was one of the most important steps on the journey to finding my soulmate. I realized that most of the hours I spent each day were spent for everyone but me – taking care of my kids, running my business, responding to family members and clients. All of which was great, but I also needed to be taking care of myself and taking time for me to do things I liked to do. I wanted to read more, and I knew I needed a private space to relax and rejuvenate. So I decided to create a home sanctuary. I knew it didn’t need to be a huge space, it was just me and the kids. But I wanted just enough room somewhere in our home for a place to call my own, filled with things that would help me relax and feel happy.
Designate a Sanctuary Space
While it is said that “your home is your sanctuary” finding an actual designated retreat within your home is necessary when you create a sanctuary space. It doesn’t have to be in any certain room – it can be your bedroom, den, maybe your formal living room or office, but it should be somewhere that you can go to be alone and work on anything you want to, without being disturbed. For me, it was my bedroom. And the first step in designating my bedroom as my new retreat was to get the kids back in their own beds! I go into more detail about this in my book, but since it was just the three of us living in the home, they had grown quite comfortable with hanging out in mom’s room. I loved it at the time, but then I realized that I needed to have a space for myself and create space for a husband if I wanted to attract real love. Of course, now they love being in their own spaces, too! So it really is a great thing to do for everyone’s peace of mind in the long run. We all need time to ourselves. Once you decide on a space, next comes the fun part.
Decorate in Your Personal Style
Your sanctuary should be that one place that’s all about the things you love. The first thing I did was put candles around the room and around my bathtub. I got a new lamp for the corner of my room so the light was just right, and made sure that everything was in pairs: two bedside tables, two lamps, two pillows, two towels, etc. One for me, one for future him. I put a comfy chair in the corner with a side table for my tea! You want to look for any clutter and get it out of sight. When I first started, my bedroom looked like a day care! Cars, toys, DVD covers, kids books stacked on every surface, mattress on the floor, TV on the stand at the foot of my bed. Your sanctuary needs to have just your things that you need to relax, and a comfortable place to sit or lounge.
Look for any clutter and get it out of sight.
Pull items from around your house that you love, like a comfy blanket or decorative throw pillows. Hang a piece of beautiful art. I bought a framed print of Michelangelo’s Creation for over my bed. When I look at it, it reminds me of my trip to the Sistine Chapel, and also reminds me that we can create anything we want to create. On the other wall, I hung a framed photo of a home overlooking the ocean to remind me of what I love most. You want to surround yourself with artwork that reminds you of what you want to create and what relaxes you.
Make it a Space Where You Love to Be
I read a book on Feng Shui that said family photos need to be out of the bedroom, so I moved all family photos to other rooms in the house. Add soothing sounds like a noise machine with waterfall effects or even a tabletop water feature. I could never sleep with these sound machines on, and when I first moved in with John, he had an ocean sounds machine that kept me up all night. Luckily, it broke, and we got a different white noise machine that works perfectly for both of us! Whatever you do, make it your own and make it a place where you love to be. This is the place where you are going to unwind, relax, and work on being happy and becoming the best possible version of you.
Unplug in Your Sanctuary
If you are over 40 like me, you probably have been using email most of your adult life personally and at work, but you couldn’t always read them from your phone. If you are over 50, like my husband, you may remember the days when there was no email or cell phones, and getting away from it all was as easy as leaving your house for a few hours. People didn’t expect to be able to reach you 24/7 and you had no obligation to respond to anyone every second of the day. What a life! But those days are gone. Today we are all connected and expected to answer when someone reaches out to us. It’s up to us to eliminate that urgent need to respond by unplugging, even just for an hour, or two, or more if needed. Worried about what people will think? Worried you will offend someone who is used to you answering them every second of every day? Let them know! Post pictures of your new sanctuary on social media. Tell everyone how you intend to take time out for yourself, and encourage them to do the same!